I have been retching for weeks at the inevitable prospect of another horrible President being elected in November. The country has had so many in a row that it's amazing that the thought could upset my stomach, much less give me the heaves.
But when it became obvious that it would be either Hillary or "The Donald" as the new chief executive I doubled over and looked for a barf bag the size of Trump's ego.
However, things are looking a little less green around the gills since I made up my new delusional scenario that would allow the country to avoid one of these catastrophes in favor of a different fate that hasn't had a chance to make me sick yet. What on earth could that escape hatch possibly be?
It's all tied to a simple mechanism called the Electoral College. A candidate needs 270 of those electoral votes to be elected or the whole thing gets thrown into the House of Representatives where the new president would be chosen by the votes of those geniuses. And they don't have to choose one of the deadlocked candidates. They can choose anyone they want, except people who are ineligible, like Obama, or G. W. Bush. So how would this end up in the hands of that wise body?
There are actually several ways and as long as we are dreaming we might as well dream big. At least long enough to avoid returning to the above inevitable nightmare. That brings us to the genesis of my scenario.
I watched a video that made the case that if former Governor Gary Johnson, the Libertarian candidate for President, (and on the ballot in all 50 states) could win just one state - in this case his home state of New Mexico - he could deny the other two candidates the 270 they need and put the thing into the House. Interesting prospect, however unlikely, I thought.
But then I heard about the efforts of Bill Kristol, editor of the Neo-Con magazine, The Weekly Standard, to get a credible and well financed "conservative" candidate to run against the rest. I thought, "this guy must be an imbecile because almost everyone in politics knows it's way too late to get on enough state ballots to win."
Silly me. Now in a moment of rare clarity I understand his intentions, which have nothing to do with winning the Presidency. They have everything to do with denying Trump the White House and saving the GOP from almost certain extinction. Even if it takes a Hillary presidency to do it.
It would only take one or two small states for Kristol's candidate, or Gary Johnson to win in order to get the above desired result. How about both of them winning a state? It's possible because so many people can't stomach either of the choices that have been shoved down their throats.
For that matter, what about "Bernie the Socialist?" He could get on the ballot in one or two of the blue states where he wiped the floor with Hillary and easily help depose the two presumptive future monarchs.
Then we have the situation described above. A GOP controlled house who don't want Trump as President (for many reasons) picking someone like Paul Ryan or some other status quo person as a compromise candidate.
So there you have it. My attempt to convince myself that my nightmare is over and all will end well. Umm, maybe not well, but not horrible in the same way as a Trump or Clinton presidency.
It won't happen of course, but it beats puking into the barf bag all night, at least until I wake up to reality again. So, the answer is yes, there is a way out of this sickening mess. But only in my dreams.